The Run Series

After a long hiatus Here’s the 9th in our Run Series Enjoy Temidire - 42 Indeed it has been a while that I have felt this way. So much energy bristling through me. Gbogbo ara mi ti dide! Gbenga has really got my nose wide open! He was so attentive. He was so kind. Patient and generous. And it might the hormones talking, but it felt like he wanted to take it further… I have thought of nothing but him since our chance meeting earlier today. I mean, we had communicated online for the longest time and flirted carefully, as married adults often do, but I was secure in the comfort that he was in Abuja and I was in London, and Corona - being the prophylactic that it has become, would make it impossible for us to be together. But alas… Corona, it is both a curse and cure. Uncle Tunze had contracted it from God-Knows-Where - that man will not stay in one place, and as his favourite niece, I had offered to come down and spend some time with him during post-recovery.  It was a lot of things f...

23.12.2020 Uncle Tunze After 14 days in quarantine in a sterile hotel, the last thing I wanted to do was go to another one. I just wanted to go home to the kids and see the Mrs. Indeed, Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder.  I had missed them terribly. But the call was urgent. His voice had heightened levels of panic. And fear. And he said he had been trying to reach me for 2 days now - I had switched off my phone. I was mad at the world for going on like nothing happened while I was holed up with a crippled lung and other chest issues. But Ik is my man. We have come a long way. Roommates in Uni, and we spent holidays at each others’ houses. He was family. He is family. My parents were the representatives of his late folks at his wedding. He was best man at my wedding and I am godfather to his kids. Getting to the hotel, I see that Ik had also called Ayo, Tunde, Tokunbo, and Wale - The War Council. This was serious. Apparently, a couple days ago, Toyin had taken a cursory look into...

  26.09.2020 The 7th in our Run Series Its a Ragga Ting! Enjoy Hauwa - 46 It was the funniest chain of events. Ran into a very angry Tiwa at SNF last night. Apparently, she saw Bayo with some young lady friend and she couldn’t handle it. Added to that, she said her own date was being an idiot and was fawning over the same girl. Tiwa and her men sha. Anyways, she was plastered and I had to bring her home to sleep on the couch. This is where the fun started. Unfortunately, I had forgotten that the reason I was able to drop off the kids at my Mother in laws’ and go out last night was so that I would come home to my ‘Exchange Graduate Program Corper’ teacher who was giving ‘private’ lessons to the Principal’s SS2 daughter. Yes. It was Chidi and I’s role play night, and we had this Jamaican School Girl and Teacher theme going on. Complete with ragga and rum. And small weed. lol. Sha, you can imagine my shock when I came down for a glass of water and saw her there. Or her confusion when ...

20.09.2020 All. Men. Are. Scum. Our 6th in The Run Series Enjoy Tiwa - 48 That Bayo. WhatTheFuckingFuck!!!! I hate that guy so much right now. That fucking bastard. He will be the death of me. The bastard. I gave him everything. My youth. My beauty. My faithfulness and loyalty. And 4 beautiful children. And what do I have to show for it in return? It was meant to be a quiet night. A night to properly weigh my options with Emeka. He had been coming around and calling persistently, and I thought a night out at SNF which I’ve always loved would help me properly assess my readiness to dip a toe in the dating pool, again. And then this fucking Bayo shows up. It wasn’t bad enough that he ruined our marriage, now he has this stupid Emeka that I thought was the one drooling over his juvenile toy girl. Look at her? Hungry skin and bones thinking she’s slim and fashionable. I’m sure she’s after his money. I will make sure I leave nothing for him to give to her or any of his other scurvy girls. F...

11.09.2020 Our 5th in The Run Series Enjoy Tosin -27 and a half lol  Bayo and all his old school slangs.  Which one is Omoge again? Yesterday, it was ‘Babylicious!’ Every morning, it’s a different term of endearment. And motivational messages that slap just right. None of that perspire to expire bullshit. Always making me think and pushing me to be better. I don’t know what went on with his ex wife, but for better or worse, she’s left a good man to the sharks. Gentleman gbaa! Not like these clingy Lagos Big Brother obsessed small boys with their Uber Corollas and taxify Camrys. The way he pampers me.  The way he talks to me.  The way he treats me.  The way he takes me.  The patience. The endless foreplay.  Uncle must have a scuba license. Anyway, today’s message says he’ll be taking me out tomorrow night to meet his friends at that Saturday Night thing. Ooohh! I’m so excited. Kimon! Let me go and do a 30-minute tone up. Those his friends, they must tak...

  05.09.2020 Our 4th in the Run Series Enjoy Dalhatu - 58  I remember the first time I saw her. She had just finished from Imperial and was coming home for youth service. We sat together in the lounge. Intelligent and very opinionated. Nkechi had galloped through college, masters and a Phd and, against the wishes of her parents, was coming home to ‘make a difference’. That was how many years ago? 6? 7? Damn. How the time flies. That I am Heir to a Northern dynasty and married with 4 wives and a kid almost her age was not the crux. That I was a career diplomat and could not afford the scandal of an affair with a much younger girl was also secondary. But she made me feel so good. Our conversations were so cerebral. And she made me laugh. And go out to fancy restaurants. And Art galleries. And Beaches. And she made me dance. She made me feel alive! After a couple of years trying to figure how to make it work, I called in a few favors and got her a job with one of the Big 4 Audit ...

29.08.2020 Nkechi - 34 Adelaide. Boston. London. Birmingham. Twice in Paris. Nairobi. Canada. Spain - who could ever forget Spain?!?! Moscow. Peru. Dubai. In most countries where the Group had an Audit Office, I have been. And now that we were understanding more about the pandemic and easing travel restrictions, my next stop  - Jo’burg! And as usual, he’ll be there to meet me... A week of hard work and a Friday of equally hard partying. Followed by the most languid Saturdays..... These work-week weekends with him were always a thing to look forward to. Let me hit the treadmill and perfect my Kwaito in a 30 minutes HIIT. Anything more will be aśeju. Get. That. SA. Body. Listen Here:  Nkechi

21.08.2020 Bayo - 48 Yes, I know I'm not as young as I used to be. I know it. She knows it. Even my body and my pace won't let me hide it. But damn! How she compliments me - matching my every move, slowing down and picking up in sync, like she's known me and my body for forever. To think she's only 28... Young and Nubian.  I needed this.  After my last disaster of a marriage with Tiwa and several relationships that were only interested in hurtling to the altar, it was nice to meet someone without an agenda. Someone only interested in me for me.  With the nights copulations still fresh in my mind, I look at her, sleeping, with a slight snore, on the bed. Her pert breasts rising and falling with every breath. I am content. And I decide there and then that for her I will be better. I am off to the treadmill to bring back Bayo from ‘91. This is my 30-minute playlist. Anything more is aśeju Listen to the playlist here...  Bayo https://www.mixcloud.com/deejay-biso/the-run-...

14.08.2020 So, last night, while on my run, I passed a couple of people, just like me, running, jogging, walking on the streets trying to get their work-outs on. And to while away the time in-between the less that 10-seconds it took me to notice and pass fellow runners, I started to wonder who they were, what was their essence, what were their issues and challenges, what made them tick, what brought them out to run, and so late at night. I didn’t delude myself that they, like me, were fighting middle age bulge and compulsive eating disorders, I assumed they had other motives. And I started to build these persons in my head. And when I got home, after another knee-damaging road-run experience, I decided that I would be those people and imagine the type of music they listened to, and why, as they work-out. If it was just that straightforward, it wouldn’t be me, so I have put a twist. These people are adults and their stories will be adult themed. If you are squeamy or want to disagree on...